Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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