I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he shaved USA in his pubs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
