made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
