My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
