i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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