Pappa wants mamma naked
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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