wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
