he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
