Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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