Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
