I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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