In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
