is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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