There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
