the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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