CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
