I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
