O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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