I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
