4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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