kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
