He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
