How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
