Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize