This dress was meant to end up on your floor
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
