Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
