he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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