weddingsv make me drug and hornr
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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