She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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