Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sponge bath it is.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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