Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
