I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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