it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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