in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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