Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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