umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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