some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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