can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
