So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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