btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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