i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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