Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
