It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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