omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
