i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
