Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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