Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
