am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize