im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
