I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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