Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
