He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize