I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
