i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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