You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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