Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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