please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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