His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
