bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
