I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
