found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
