eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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